Punctuation

[amanda]

I think I know the answer but just checking. Is the comma correct in the dialogue below, or should it be a full stop?

Very grateful for any help.


Yawning widely she strolled over, "Can I help?" she asked.

[Dave Miller]

That's one cruddy sentence!

First off, I'd pop a comma after the adverbial phrase "Yawning widely".

Then, I'd note that there are two full-blown sentences, which need more than a comma to separate them: she strolled over and "Can I help?" she asked.

My own preference would be also to pop a comma between the quotation and the she asked, but if the rest of the text is not in that style, the lack doesn't matter.

I come up with:

Yawning widely, she strolled over; "Can I help?", she asked.
or
Yawning widely, she strolled over. "Can I help?", she asked.

[Dave]

I agree with you, Dave, except for the comma following the closing quotation mark. I wouldn't put it in because of the question mark within the quotation, but that may be a US vs. UK style:

Yawning widely, she strolled over. "Can I help?" she asked.

This can be confounded by replacing the pronoun with the character's name:

Yawning widely, she strolled over. "Can I help?" Amanda asked.

because the proper name is capitalized just like the first word in a sentence.