|
Post by Twoddle on Sept 5, 2008 10:32:50 GMT
When scientists are asked to respond to people who have no understanding of science and who make statements composed mainly of balderdash, or who ask really stupid questions, the scientists normally sigh quietly and try to explain, in polite but simple fashion, the truth.
Not so Professor Brian Cox, particle phycisist. Here are his absolutely magnificent answers to the final two questions put to him in a Radio Times interview:
Radio Times: "Cern is being sued in the US over the possible dangers of turning on the LHC [Large Hadron Collider], such as creating a mini black hole that might swallow the planet. Could it be the end of everything?" Brian Cox: "The nonsense you find on the web about 'doomsday scenarios' is conspiracy theory rubbish generated by a small group of nutters, primarily on the other side of the Atlantic. These people also think that the Theory of Relativity is a Jewish conspiracy and that America didn't land on the Moon. Both are more likely, by the way, than the LHC destroying the world. I'm slightly irritated, because this non-story is symptomatic of a larger mistrust in science, particularly in the US, which includes things like intelligent design."
Radio Times: "One final question: how can you be certain? We've heard of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle - does it mean you can't be sure of anything?" Brian Cox: "The Uncertainty Principle is part of quantum mechanics, and the whole subject is based on that. So it affects every result at LHC, but it doesn't affect the conclusion that anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat."
Priceless! (I do hope he's right, though.)
By the way, Net Nanny replaced t-w-a-t with "thingy"! [pd: I've turned off net nanny and restored the word in Twod's story.]
|
|
|
Post by Tone on Sept 5, 2008 11:21:04 GMT
>it doesn't affect the conclusion that anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a t-w-a-t<You mean that it won't? Party pooper. Tone
|
|
|
Post by Verbivore on Sept 5, 2008 11:24:04 GMT
Priceless, Twod! ;D
|
|
|
Post by Alan Palmer on Sept 5, 2008 17:16:59 GMT
How can anyone base a case on the possibility that something might happen? There is the possibility that my neighbour might strike a match. Possibly there is a leak of gas at that time and the house might possibly blow up, taking mine with it. I don't think I'd win if I sued him now, though.
If the event happened I might win, if I could show carelessness. Perhaps they should try suing afterwards? They might have difficulty collecting, though.
|
|
|
Post by Twoddle on Sept 5, 2008 17:48:46 GMT
How can anyone base a case on the possibility that something might happen? There is the possibility that my neighbour might strike a match. Possibly there is a leak of gas at that time and the house might possibly blow up, taking mine with it. I don't think I'd win if I sued him now, though. If the event happened I might win, if I could show carelessness. Perhaps they should try suing afterwards? They might have difficulty collecting, though. Were that Vic Bottomley, expert on American law, still posted! I'm sure he'd give us the authoritative answer. It does seem rather odd that the operators of a device that's half in Switzerland and half in France can be sued in the USA for something that hasn't happened and almost certainly won't. Paul, Thanks for neutralising the Nanny. Changing a "twat" to a "thingy" usually involves complicated surgery.
|
|
|
Post by Pete on Sept 5, 2008 22:21:23 GMT
I read the interview, too, and thought it was brilliant. Mind you, Radio Times printed "t**t".
I also like the fact that he was the keyboard player for D:Ream, while completing his PhD thesis. Top that!
|
|
|
Post by Vadim on Sept 16, 2008 8:19:22 GMT
I read the interview, too, and thought it was brilliant. Mind you, Radio Times printed "t**t". I also like the fact that he was the keyboard player for D:Ream, while completing his PhD thesis. Top that! I worked at Netto whilst doing mine. Hows that? As for all the stuff on the LHC etc; brilliant, Twod, thanks. ;D By-the-way, what does "acerbic" mean?
|
|
|
Post by Verbivore on Sept 16, 2008 8:49:10 GMT
I [...] By-the-way, what does "acerbic" mean? Acrid, sour or bitter; sarcastic or cynical; sharp-tempered Sorry to pre-empt Twod, but he's probably just recovering from breakfast.
|
|
|
Post by WeeWilly on Feb 15, 2009 9:06:45 GMT
For me, Mark Twain is king:
"Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough." "Be careful of reading health books. You may die of a misprint." "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it." "I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." "A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way." "A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation." "Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often." "Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education." "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." "Familiarity breeds contempt - and children." "God made the idiot for practice, and then he made the School Board." "It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
|
|
|
Post by Pete on Feb 15, 2009 10:25:32 GMT
"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
Shades of Churchill? He used to practise all his 'impromptu' speeches in front of a mirror for days, until he decided it was ready to unleash.
|
|
|
Post by WeeWilly on Oct 5, 2011 20:15:43 GMT
"He has more sense in his whole body than I have in my little finger."
This is not the Gracie Allen quote, but it does capture its general nature. I wish I could find the original, for no-one beats Allen at delivering this sort of mangle. I doubt if we could call it acerbic, though!
|
|
|
Post by Verbivore on Sept 6, 2021 23:34:20 GMT
As I'm reorganising my collection of quotations, here are a few to reinvigorate this thread – from my "insults and acerbities" section.
A member of the British Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
– Source: Benjamin Disraeli
"He had delusions of adequacy."
– Source: Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
– Source: Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
– Source: Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
– Source: William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
– Source: Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
– Source: Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
– Source: Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend … if you have one."
– Source: George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second … if there is one."
– Source: Winston Churchill, in response to GB Shaw.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
– Source: Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
– Source: John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
– Source: Irvin S Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
– Source: Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
– Source: Paul Keating, former prime minister of Australia
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
– Source: Charles, Count Talleyrand
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
– Source: Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
– Source: Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
– Source: Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts … for support rather than illumination."
– Source: Andrew Lang (1844–1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
– Source: Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
– Source: Groucho Marx
You’re a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of a mouth and the size of a brain.
— Source: The Fourth Doctor (Who), Tom Baker, from The Robots of Death Episode 2
|
|