Stuck fast...

[galindez]

Hello. I'm stuck again and have enjoyed great help here in the past, so here goes.

"Still, the Brooklyn man comes off two (rather obscure) wins and, slick and sharp-hitting, is not one to give anyone an easy night, especially in the early rounds, although he tends to fight in flashy spurts after that lightning start."

Now, "slick-and sharp-hitting" is obviously a parenthetical comment that could be plucked from the sentence and the sentence would still make sense. Is "especially in the early rounds" a parenthetical comment though? If it is, then the ensuing line ("although he tends to fight in flashy spurts after that lightning start") would not really make sense.

[Barry]

Hi galindez,

You're quite correct (in my view, at any rate) in identifying the fact that "especially in the early rounds" isn't a parenthetical statement. Although the last part of the sentence is separated off with sets of commas, I think it's OK as it stands. Actually, the logic is what's (in my view) at fault. Let's look at what this guy does:

• he's slick and sharp-hitting;
  
• he has a lightening start in the early rounds, which means he's not one to give anyone an easy night
  
• after this start, he fights in flashy spurts.
  

Reading this, I'd say his entire performance is actually one of flashy spurts - that one of them is generally at the beginning, (what is a 'lightening start' but an example of a 'flashy spurt'?) is irrelevant.

So, to use a continuation of his performance as a comparator to his similar start is a bit odd. I'd probably re-cast:

"Still, the Brooklyn man comes off two (rather obscure) wins and, slick and sharp-hitting, is not one to give anyone an easy night - even though his lightning start usually signals the beginning of an uneven fighting performance marked by flashy spurts (and moments of jam-eating, or whatever he was doing when he wasn't producing 'flashy spurts').

[Dave M]

Gosh, I read it quite differently, Barry.

The start wasn't making anything lighter; it was being compared to lightning because of its speed. Also, I read it as a commentary, in the present tense not because of the "usual" activities of the person, but because of what he'd just visibly done - this often gives an oddity of tense. To me, it says:

- he's just had two rather obscure wins
- he made a lightning(-fast) start
- being a slick- and sharp-hitting person, he's not one to give anyone an easy night
- that tendency was clearer in the early rounds
(and then the commentator retracts a little by saying that)
- the tendency not to give an easy night is coming and going a bit, though, in flashy spurts.

The phrase "especially in the early rounds" is indeed a parenthetical statement, as can be seen by simply dropping it out of the original statement (and out of my bullet listing):

Still, the Brooklyn man comes off two (rather obscure) wins and, slick and sharp-hitting, is not one to give anyone an easy night, although he tends to fight in flashy spurts after that lightning start.

[Paul Doherty]

I'm with Dave -- you could take out all the various parenthetical bits and get

Still, the Brooklyn man comes off two wins and is not one to give anyone an easy night, although he tends to fight in flashy spurts after that lightning start.

"That lighning start" refers to the two early wins.

[Pete]

Jul 29, 2008 16:03:57 GMT Paul Doherty said:

"That lighning start" refers to the two early wins.

But in the original sentence, that lightning start was a reference to the early rounds, not to the previous obscure wins.

[Pete]

Also, surely the final reference to that lightning start means that the reference to the early rounds cannot be parenthetical. If you take out that reference, the 'that' doesn't refer back to anything.

[Paul Doherty]

Jul 29, 2008 20:30:34 GMT Pete said:

But in the original sentence, that lightning start was a reference to the early rounds, not to the previous obscure wins.

Was it? It's wrong then, as you say!

[Dave M]

It's difficult for me to say, really, as we are, I guess, talking about sport [Dave washes out mouth], here!

I hadn't put "lightning start" and "early rounds" together (they donlt seem to fit well). The passage is presumably an extract of a longer commentary, so who knows what it attaches to!