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Post by TfS on Jun 10, 2008 7:09:51 GMT
Tony, >"Footprints in the sand", hey? And only one set of them. Is the the bit where you were being carried?
Tone, you oblige me to confess that it is not my tootsies gracing my avatar<Well, obviously not -- in relation to my comment, at least. And not the answer that I expected to provoke. Think again about that which I (enigmatically) wrote. Tone Since you had worked out that it wasn't my feet in the avatar (as prompted by Sue), then I must have been carried by this mysterious pedestrian. Am I close? (karmas at risk)
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Post by Tone on Jun 10, 2008 19:23:11 GMT
>Am I close?<
Somebody explain it -- please!
Tone
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Post by Dave M on Jun 10, 2008 19:38:58 GMT
It's a sickeningly trite story, published on naff cards, T! The background meaning may be wholesome, but the delivery is far too sugary for me:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you." Mary Stevenson
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Post by Paul Doherty on Jun 10, 2008 19:46:18 GMT
[shudder]
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Post by Twoddle on Jun 10, 2008 21:29:04 GMT
[Vomit] (Not that it's the first time I've seen that particular piece of nauseating drivel.)
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Post by Alan Palmer on Jun 10, 2008 21:56:47 GMT
Reminiscent of "He ain't heavy, he's my brother".
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Post by Sue M-V on Jun 10, 2008 22:22:55 GMT
other times there were one set of footprints. ... Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me? Rather iffy grammar in this maudlin claptrap! I was suddenly reminded of David Frost's cricket bag! Does anyone else know that marvellous spoof on the ghastly Deck of Cards in Church thing? Sue
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Post by Dave M on Jun 10, 2008 22:59:31 GMT
Since you ask, Sue:
One day, some soldier boys were returning from an exercise on Sal-is-bury Plain. They were tired and hungry and so they went into a church to pray. Each soldier boy had a prayer book and a bible... but one boy, he had no prayer book and no bible, he had only... a cricket bag!
After the service, the Sergeant called him over and said, 'Son, why were you playing cricket in church... what have you got to say for yourself?' 'Much Sir!' replied the soldier boy. 'I hope so,' said the Sergeant 'for if not, you will surely be punished more than any soldier boy has ever been punished before you... even more than that soldier boy we caught lying about playing cards in church, last week!'
So, the soldier began...
'You see, Sir, when I look at the cricket ball... I think of God's Earth, spinning in the firmament.
When I look at the two umpires, I think of those other two umpires at York and Cantebury... there's no throwing there!
And when I look at the three cricket stumps... I think of the three virtues or of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!
And when I look at the four bails... I think of the Gaderene swine... or at least, four of them!
And when I look at the six balls in an over, I remember that is just half the number of the disciples!
And when I look at the eight balls in an Australian over... I remember that is just two thirds the number of disciples!
And when I look at the eleven men in a team... I think of the 'Ten Commandments'... plus one!
So you see, Sir, my cricket bag serves me as my Bible, my prayer book and my... cricket bag.'
And friends, this story is true! I know... I was that cricket bag!
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Post by TfS on Jun 11, 2008 7:52:32 GMT
Oh dear, Tone and Dave M. I must have led a sheltered life as I haven't come across this before. Perhaps I have just been fortunate. The "cricket bag" has also passed me by but I do recall the "deck of cards" thingie. And I thought it was a nice avatar but I am now in doubt about my choice.
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Post by Sue M-V on Jun 11, 2008 12:53:35 GMT
TfS, you could always replace it with a nice picture of a cricket bag - or a couple of Gaderene swine?
Or you could leave it - nothing wrong with feet, if you like that sort of thing.
Sue ;D
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Post by TfS on Jun 11, 2008 13:22:25 GMT
TfS, you could always replace it with a nice picture of a cricket bag - or a couple of Gaderene swine? I think not, thank you. Or you could leave it - nothing wrong with feet, if you like that sort of thing. Even though I am not a foot fetishist, I rather like my avatar now so I'm going to keep it, ribald comments or not. TfS
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Post by Tone on Jun 11, 2008 20:34:55 GMT
>Does anyone else know that marvellous spoof on the ghastly Deck of Cards in Church thing?<
I've got it on a record (a black, disc-shaped thingy) somewhere. I think it's hilarious! (Tex Ritter, or the other one with the shirt that buttoned down both sides, wannit?)
Tone
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Post by Verbivore on Jun 18, 2008 2:46:03 GMT
Here's an appropriate occupation-name combination:
attorney Andrew Wallet.
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Post by Twoddle on Jun 18, 2008 7:40:14 GMT
The mythical firm of solicitors beloved by The Goon Show was "Sue, Grabbet, and Runn".
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Post by Dave on Jun 18, 2008 7:48:14 GMT
The mythical firm of solicitors beloved by The Goon Show was "Sue, Grabbet, and Runn". The US version is the firm of "Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe." (Or is that the accounting firm?)
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