It's a sickeningly trite story, published on naff cards, T! The background meaning may be wholesome, but the delivery is far too sugary for me:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you." Mary Stevenson
"In considering the use of grammar as a corrective of what are called ‘ungrammatical’ expressions, it must be borne in mind that the rules of grammar have no value except as statements of facts: whatever is in general use in a language is for that very reason grammatically correct."
[Henry Sweet, 1891.]
One day, some soldier boys were returning from an exercise on Sal-is-bury Plain. They were tired and hungry and so they went into a church to pray. Each soldier boy had a prayer book and a bible... but one boy, he had no prayer book and no bible, he had only... a cricket bag!
After the service, the Sergeant called him over and said, 'Son, why were you playing cricket in church... what have you got to say for yourself?' 'Much Sir!' replied the soldier boy. 'I hope so,' said the Sergeant 'for if not, you will surely be punished more than any soldier boy has ever been punished before you... even more than that soldier boy we caught lying about playing cards in church, last week!'
So, the soldier began...
'You see, Sir, when I look at the cricket ball... I think of God's Earth, spinning in the firmament.
When I look at the two umpires, I think of those other two umpires at York and Cantebury... there's no throwing there!
And when I look at the three cricket stumps... I think of the three virtues or of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!
And when I look at the four bails... I think of the Gaderene swine... or at least, four of them!
And when I look at the six balls in an over, I remember that is just half the number of the disciples!
And when I look at the eight balls in an Australian over... I remember that is just two thirds the number of disciples!
And when I look at the eleven men in a team... I think of the 'Ten Commandments'... plus one!
So you see, Sir, my cricket bag serves me as my Bible, my prayer book and my... cricket bag.'
And friends, this story is true! I know... I was that cricket bag!
Here's an appropriate occupation-name combination:
attorney Andrew Wallet.
"STYLE is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn." — Gore Vidal "STYLE is knowing what sort of play you're in." — Sir John Gielgud "Politicians are not born; they are excreted." ― Marcus Tullius Cicero